“How many fics are in your ao3 history” this and “what’s your most read fic” that. Listen. Listen to me. I don’t go into my ao3 history. Whatever is there is between the archive and god and it is quite frankly none of my business what past me decided to open.
When the author describes a character’s appearance way too late and you have to quickly redesign the image you already have for them in your head:
This is why if you want people to know your character has long raven-black hair with red streaks and eyes like limpid tears, you need to make sure you say so in your first paragraph. Christ. Imagine someone thinking your character’s a prep.
Holy shit I’m dying.
That. That literally explains the opening paragraph of My Immortal I was making a joke but this person came out here with receipts holy hell
NEVER forget the wild ride that is the first page of The Vampire Lestat.
My dad regularly sings to my mom about how much he loves her while standing exactly in the way of whatever she’s trying to do
My parents didn’t marry until I was 4 and they regularly forget that they’re spouses. They generally refer to themselves as partners
My mom proposed to my dad by yelling at him from a room away that her taxes were fucked and they had to get married to which my father replied “this is how I always dreamed you’d ask me!” and pretending to swoon
My dad appears as an actor in the movie Swoon, supposedly an important piece of queer cinema
My parents were both punks in their youth
When I came home for thanksgiving with a mohawk, unannounced, my mom started crying because I looked “so handsome” and “just like your dad” and kept petting my head
My dad only says “that’s my boy” to me when I say something gay about men
My mom and dad have the same taste in women but opposite taste in men
One time we were watching a movie set in Chicago and my mom turned to my dad, and in the most sentimental mom voice, said “Chicago honey! We haven’t been there since the anarchist convention!”
My dad worked on California’s weed legalization bill
She’s been defending the Earth since the early 90s and she’s very tired.
My name is Tominaga Haruka. I was chosen by a magical talking animal, and for the last 29 years I’ve been Earth’s one and only… Wonder-Sparkle Princess.
she’s been fighting the same villains for three decades and they are also tired of it. Most of them aren’t giving it their all. Half of them are in a groupchat they’ve added her to where they schedule their evil plans to make sure they don’t interfere with each other, or more importantly, with *her*
Xalkrax the space demon from outer space decided to attack the city when she was taking her vacation time once, and now he’s dead, because even the power of friendship and redemption can’t save you if you interrupt her rare vacations
Demon Queen Eluria: Gonna fill the city people’s hearts with hatred on thursday to cause mayhem and discord.
Wonder-Sparkle Princess: Can’t, got a PTA meeting.
Demon Queen Eluria: Friday?
Wonder-Sparkle Princess: A birthday party.
Demon Queen Eluria: Damn. How about I fill just the mayor’s heart with hatred then?
Wonder-Sparkle Princess: That’d be redundant, lol. Maybe fill his heart with a desire to fix the fucking potholes?!
Demon Queen Eluria: LMFAO love you, bitch. Stay strong.
Wonder-Sparkle Princess: You too, gurl. How’s the husband? Still dead?
Demon Queen Eluria: Yep. Thanks for that, btw.
Wonder-Sparkle Princess: Don’t mess with my time off :p
Why are people tagging this ’#wonder sparkle princess’ like that’s a thing and not a name I made up exclusively for this post?
Congratulations on inventing a new tumblr deity!!
She isn’t 29 years old. She’s been a magical girl for 29 years. If she started at 14 (typical magical girl protagonist age) then she’d be 43.
in universe explanation would be something like the goo is filled with nanomachines that interface with your nervous system or something
out of universe explanation is that i think t4t gay sex in a mech cockpit would be so much more fun if there was goo involved. it could even have the same texture and consistency as lube.
and then the mech boots up and both people in the cockpit get neuralinked and its like. super gay brain sex
gender to me is like a car i dont really want one and society would be much better if it was not structured around it. but i got one because it helps me get around and sometimes its fun to make it go fast
and people tell you to move to one of a handful of cities if you want to avoid having one, but when you get there the majority of people have one anyway and jobs expect you to as well
Car dependence has ruined the physical and social infrastructure of this country. If we want any revolution we need Walkable safe human scaled cities
amtrak I love you and you’re so right but this post is about gender so
gender has ruined the physical and social infrastructure of this country. if we want any revolution we need gender-optional safe queer friendly cities
found out today that the “no don’t [action] your so sexy aha” meme is, in fact, NOT well known outside of internet circles and you should not just Say That to an unsuspecting coworker
Anonymous said: 
